Teknik menulis karangan betahap A1

Salam sejahtera diucapkan kepada, Yang dihormati Tuan Pengerusi Majlis, panel hakim yang arif lagi bijaksana, guru-guru dan rakan-rakan yang dihormati. Pada hari yang mulia ini, saya, ingin menyampaikan sebuah syarahan yang bertajuk "Teknik menulis karangan bertahap A1". (Teknik memulakan syarahan berpiawai ISO 9003. Hafalkan teknik ini)

Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan (teknik berinteraksi dengan tuan-tuan dan puan-puan)

Saya masih ingat bahawa tidak lebih daripada 4 tahun dahulu, saya tidak mempunyai sebarang masalah menulis karangan beribu-ribu perkataan panjang (ini dipanggil teknik hiperbola). Sekarang, setiap ayat yang ditulis oleh saya merupakan satu kesakitan di kawasan punggungku (ini dipanggil teknik penterjemahaan kasar). Soalannya, bagaimanakah tahap penguasaan bahasa Melayu saya boleh merosot dengan begitu mendadak dalam tempoh 4 tahun sahaja? (Ini dipanggil teknik menanyakan soalan dalam karangan. Teknik ini amat digalakkan oleh guru-guru bahasa Melayu kerana kebolehan seseorang penulis karangan berkorelasi langsung dengan bilangan soalan yang berjaya ditanyakan olehnya dalam rencana tersebut. Fakta ini disokong oleh kajian yang dijalankan oleh Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka yang menunjukkan bahawa 98% karangan yang bermutu tinggi mempunyai 87% lebih banyak soalan berbanding dengan karangan bermutu rendah. Teknik baru in pula dipanggil teknik menyelit statistik dalam karangan. Kebenaran statistik tersebut adalah tidak penting)

Adolf Hitler pernah berkata: "Ich mag Tiergeschlecht!" (Teknik menggunakan bahasa asing dan mamaparkan nasihat tokoh sejarah digabungkan untuk membentuk teknik memaparkan nasihat tokoh sejarah dalam bahasa asing. Teknik ini merupakan teknik bertahap dua yang hanya sesuai digunakkan oleh penulis yang mempunyai pengalaman menulis rencana sampah tidak kurang daripada 5 tahun dan tidak melebihi 75 tahun, sebagaimana diarahkan oleh Seksyen 300(c), Akta Rencana Sampah (1957)). Kita patut menyahut seruan tokoh gagah tersebut untuk memajukan bangsa kita dari segi fizikal dan rohani demi kesejahteraan seluruh dunia (Teknik menulis ayat bermakna kosong yang sedap dibaca)

Bak kata pepatah Hong Kong, "Emak kamu begitu gemuk, apabila dia lompat kegembiraan, dia tersangkut pula". Di sini, teknik memasukkan peribahasa dan lain-lain perkataan hikmat telah disuntik dengan budaya luar negara untuk menunjukkan keberkesanan kesan globalisasi (Satu lagi contoh teknik ayat yang sememangnya tidak masuk akal tetapi sedap didengar)

Kesimpulannya (ini bermaksud karangan telah sampai ke kesimpulan), Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim. Sallal laahu alaihi wasallam. Allahuakbar! (Teknik menyamar sebagai seorang orang Melayu. Ini merupakan teknik sulit yang menjaminkan A1 dalam sebarang peperiksaan awam di Malaysia)

Sekian, terima kasih.

Look What I Found!

I kinda lost my own copy of the form 4 drama video I made so was quite elated to find this uploaded unto my Yahoo Geocities page in the pre-YouTube/facebook era (What did we do online during that era man?). Forgotten I've uploaded it there. Oh well, so funny to be rewatching it again after so long. It was intended to be an intro to the drama but it ended up being an entire summary.
Anyway, what horrendous editing! I still remember the horrible dub-over work I did in the video. Oh well, twas fun.

RANDOM

be4 i begin, let me say this: XING JI IS HILARIOUS!!

anyway...
i wanna contribute something too!!

1)How much do you think you're worth?

You can't put one's worth into monetary sense; one moment someone is employed and one moment someone is retrenched..does this mean the person suddenly become worthless coz no one is willing to pay him to work??

Monetary worth is such a random unpredictable thing...one moment you are a millionaire and the next moment, u are bankrupt.

Which is y.. a persons's worth is only determined by his KNOWLEDGE..

2) Quote:

It is lonely at the top.
Victory stinks.
In order to be victorious, you need to sweat it out.
and sweat stinks(for most of us anyway),
hence, victory stinks.

yay i just wasted 20 minutes of my time, and 3 minutes of yours. Thanks.

A reply (of sorts)

Gosh, I have no idea why I'm feeling so hyper right now. Maybe it's because I've been having too much fun lately, meeting up with lots of old pals (people whom I can totally be myself with)... or maybe it's because I've been sleeping at 7am and waking up at 3 for the past few days, chasing the ridiculously sacharrine sweet manga of Ichigo 100% (which will definitely put a smile on your face, even if only because it's ecchi, well, mainly because it's ecchi)... or maybe it's because I just found out Jordan has a girlfriend (oops) and my busy-body-gauge-bar is overflowing (not to mention my imagination).... Life is great, if not exactly organised... HAHAHA

Ok, moving on in a non-linear and nonsensical manner:

1. Value: Am I worth RM 5/hour? Hopefully not, I prefer to be worth less and get overpaid. Exacting economic inefficiencies is decidedly delicious, if only because I'm sadistic that way.

2. Forgive and Forget: Confucious he says, forgiveness is virtue worth cultivating (if only for the fantastic make up sex)

3.
a) Am I happy? Obscenely so, for reasons I cannot fathom. See above
b) Do I have a zest for living? Yes, because I'm waiting for Season 13 of South Park
c) Are you socially adjusted? Wha wha wha?
d) Do you have unity and balance? Last I checked, I could walk in a straight line for 30 metres without ....(Loud crash and tumble)
e) Can you deal with each problem in your life as it arises? If there's something strange, in your neighbourhood...who you gonna call...(dumdumdumdumdumdumdumdum: background music): GHOSTBUSTERS!
f) Do you have insight: (Rolls dice) *Wisdom check failed* Goddamnit
g) Do you have a confidential relationship with someone else? I'll have to consult my lawyer on this one, NEXT
h) Do I have a sense of the ridiculous? *Sniffs air* Smells like teen spirit....oh wait, bad DOG! BAD DOG! (piteous dog whining)
i) Are you engaged in satisfying work? Allahuak *KABOOM*
j) Do you worry effectively? KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL! *KABOOM*

business

BFFs are overrated, DAFs FTW!

P.S. DAF: Diamonds are forever
P.P.S. This is just a joke, don't get mad rachel
P.P.P.S I think I had one too many drinks tonight... oooh... nice glowing flying piggy
P.P.P.P.S Mayor: (Dying breath) To get home to reality, just click your heels 3 times.
Butters: Really?
Mayor: No you fucking dipshit! That was a joke.

Even entitling this is difficult

So I was visiting this site for the first time since our last gathering, and I'm blown away. Swept off my feet, gripping-tightly-onto-nearest-lamp-post-for-dear-life blown away.

I totally agree with xj and yn on the pressure to produce an interesting, thought-provoking or at least MATURE-sounding post here, considering the posts li hong and xing ji have been churning out.

So I sat in front of my screen and thought for a long time what wisdom had i gathered so far in this year that was actually worth sharing.

Still thinking. Haha.

Value. How much do you think you're worth? We agree to RM5 an hour in McD's. Are you worth that RM5? Or more? Or less?

Forgive and forget. Are you sure you've forgiven that someone? Or did you just try your best to forget the pain and convince yourself it's forgiveness? My psychology lecture dictates 5 steps to dealing with -ve emotions:
-Recall the hurt
-Empathise
-Altruistic gift of forgiveness
-Commit yourself to forgiveness
-Hold onto the forgiveness i.e. not forgetting

We're busy people. How would you score on this test?
-Are you happy?
-Do you have a zest for living?
-Are you socially adjusted?
-Do you have unity and balance?
-Can you deal with each problem in your life as it arises?
-Do you have insight?
-Do you have a confidential relationship with some other person?
-Do you have a sense of the ridiculous?
-Are you engaged in satisfying work?
-Do you worry effectively?

Hope your busyness (if there's such a word) isn't for naught. Purpose.

We've all made BFF promises. When's the last time you sent him/her an sms/email just because?

A visiting unchurched child in my church hugged me tightly and asked, "Teacher if I miss you then how?" When's the last time you were this frank?

Dang now I feel like I'm some naggy mum with an apron and a cane. I hope this doesn't come off as a lecture. Cuz I felt as though I was being lectured to when I typed this. Painful.

Christmas is beckoning =)

Without the way there is no going,
Without the truth there is no knowing,
Without the life there is no living.
~Thomas Kempis~

Will continue thinking =)

Love you all.

P.S. BFF= Best Friends Forever
P.P.S Xing Ji, Li Hong- you two are my current only sources of political education. Just so you know =)

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly

So, yesterday, I really, *reaaaally* wanted to post something up over here, had a bunch of great ideas on what to post, but as usual, when Procrastination sets in, there goes the mood. :)

It's getting quite Christmassy over here... we've had snow last weekend, and it was jolly thick. I'm looking forward for more though. It only makes sense to be so cold when there's some white slush on the ground to pelter someone with. :0)

Tests here are getting more and more frequent. It's good in a way - get us to study more. But bad in the sense that after we're done with tests for the week, we're so burned out and bored that we tend to slack even more on the following week. :-S

I wonder how is everyone doing now. I've done a little photo collage and stuck it up in front of my desk. It's supposed to motivate me to give my all since I've been addicted to the Internet for the longest time, and I suppose it is working somewhat.

*feels like wasting time*

*looks up and sees Nick giving me a grim smile*

*feelings of wasting time diminish, POOF!*

:-D

But yeah... how *is* everyone doing now? I feel super distant on this side of the earth, disconnected from everyone. And now that blogging and Facebook and MSN has lost its allure on me (blame it on previous Internet addiction - too much of anything will eventually get boring).. it's like, hmm, watching the lives of others on TV or something. Maybe I should really get back to email-writing and start bothering everyone all over again.

Which reminds me of a funny incident today... We were talking about drug metabolism (how the body processes drugs) and my professor said,

"So, in the case of renal failure, what is the most buttering?"

"Huh? Buh-what?"

"Buttering."

*English native speakers look at each other*

"Buttering? Like, butter?"

"Yeah. Like, annoying."

"Ohhhhh, bothering!"

:-D

Speaking of language, the choir will be singing a traditional Czech mass. Which will be sung interestingly fast, crazy consonants and all. Fun. :P

And then there was two

Oh and while I'm on a roll, I recommend two comics (ahem), ok fine "Graphic Novels" which if you can get your hands on, get your hands on (ok, that sounded weird). Me being the regular but lucky cheapskate that I am, rip them off my neighbour.

1. Lucifer (Vertigo): The fallen prince of hell hatches a plan to escape from God's predestination tyranny once and fall.

2. Fables (Vertigo): Goldilocks and the three bears don't play nice. But then again, it's New York.

Lalalalalala

Well well whadya know

Ok, just random shit. If you're feeling bored or you know that deep down (very deep down) you're actually Mariah Carey and the world is just about ready to receive the full glory of your angelic voice, but you decide (most wisely of course) to do a lil' practice first, check out www.karaokeparty.com . You'll need a mike, and tolerant neighbours to pull this off. Granted, the song selections aren't great, plus they're not sung by the original singers (never a plus point in my book) but hey, it's free, plus I can guarantee you, it's fucking (oh shit, I swore, oh wait, there I go again) addictive.

RE: Chatterbox death

And here I was thinking that it died because well...it was too old

In any case, well yeah, ppl are busy... but I feel the main reason the blog is dying is because people are "growing up" and I don't mean it in a good way.

The sad truth is that no one really bothers to do this anymore and the few that do try to update it get discouraged because well...it all seems rather pointless

And once u stop blogging for some time...well, it gets hard to restart

Because you feel that in order to post something up

It has to be "special"... and then you don't really wanna write anything...because well...life's just normal...peachy even...nothing extraordinary....and nothing goes up...

But oddly enough, everytime a new post comes up, you have no idea how excited it makes me..no matter how "mundane" the topic...

Like so...

Right...load of tosh

Our Chatterbox Died!!!

Oh, the horror of horrors!!! A dead chatterbox is the definitive turnaround for a blog. Either it:

(a) is replaced by a new clean chatterbox which

(i) dies, too, eventually
(ii) lives for a while and then dies
(iii) lives pathetically during dormant phases throughout the schooling year.

or

(b) is never replaced. The primary symptom to look out for in a necrotic blog.

*sniff* Goodbye, dear chatterbox. You have lived us well. Your memories we shall cherish, forever and ever.

From letter to letter, and byte to byte.

Farewell...

-------

On another note, since I'm not blogging regularly in my own personal blog, maybe I'd haunt this space for a bit. But I'm wondering how and what I should post here, since, after all, this blog is really meant for class activities and occasionally sublime articles from XingJi and LiHong.

Maybe I'll just post up random thoughts. Anything to keep this site from vanishing altogether as the years go by, eh?

Any brilliant ideas?

And should we get a new chatterbox? Although it seems pretty redundant for NOW because we're all such busy people, hehe.. It seems more appropriate to wait for the hols to restart one.

Malaysia, politics, the rule of law and other cool stuff

Hello, here's a brief (I'm using the word loosely here) summary of a cool forum which I just attended and which I think you all should know about (i.e. read this and think)

Right, the forum was held at my campus (law faculty NUS) from 2 to 6 and was about the social, political and legal consequences within the Malaysian landscape post March 8 GE 08. The panel of speakers were Malik Imtiaz Sarwar, Rita Sim, Elizabeth Wong, Nurul Izzah Anwar and Tony Pua.

The MC, one prof Tang, categorically stated at the start of the forum that in no way was the forum politically motivated even though the entire panel did not contain a single BN man. He clarified that they had indeed extended invitations to BN to send speakers down for the conference but "they unfortunately could not be here with us". I'm not complaining. It's not as if they (BN) ever had anything useful to say anyway, and it sure made everyone there way more comfortable in speaking their mind.

Anyway, first up was Rita Sim (executive director of Sin Chew publications and deputy chairman of the Institute of Strategic Analysis & Policy Research). She gave a brief intro of Malaysian political history, from Mahathir's transition of power to Abdullah in 04 right up to the present scenario. Important points highlighted during the speech was the fact that the Malays would remain the dominant political power in Msia in the forseeable future (come 2020, they'll make up 70 % of the total population) and other cool stats like how the opposition actually won the popular vote in the peninsular, meaning if not for Sabah and Sarawak, BN would most certainly have lost. Interestingly enough, in GE 08, Sabah and Sarawak voters numbered some 1 million out of 10 million registered voters in Msia (a total of 4 million voters did not register, of which 60% were Malay) but under the Federation of Malaysia agreement, the two states would have a minimum of 25% seats in parliament. So yes, some votes are more equal than others.

After Rita Sim concluded her introduction into the Msian political scenario, Elizabeth Wong (former secretary general of HAKAM and current state assemblyman for Bukit Lanjan under the PKR banner) continued with a speech on federalism in Malaysia and the future political scenario envisaged (ie most optimistic scenario): a two party democracy. She suggested that reformasi and the current political revolution in Msia was really kickstarted way back during the Asian Financial Crisis of 1997 - way before the sacking of Anwar really. While the official reason for the severe economic downturn back then was blamed on Soros and his band of evil speculators, a public disquiet started to circulate about the general mismanagement of our nation under BN (which was probably a better explanation of why our country was as f***ed as it was).

Anyway, the moment we were waiting for: Q n A. First question: what is the future of ISA in our country? Tony Pua, not one to miss an oppurtunity to score political points categorically stated that the future pakatan rakyat government would unequivocally reject the ISA in its entirety. The answer was quickly shot down as political rhetoric by the panel of mostly legal and public policy students and staff and the thorny issue of anti-terrorism was raised. Malik Imtiaz further went on to say that the current ISA was very much in breach of our constitution and that however, our penal code and criminal sentencing procedure had been amended to reflect the current international support for anti-terror preemptive action. Rita Sim suggested that if the current ISA is removed, most likely an anti-terror preemptive arrest related legislation would be passed and Malik Imtiaz said he was wondering why the opposition wasn't already pressing for such a position (perhaps something we might be looking forward to? Or not) Anyway, to sum things up: Current ISA = abuse of human rights not in line with constitution. But we will most likely need a similar anti-terror law (perhaps subjected to judicial review?)

Next Question: What of the schism between the two rather conflicting ideology of PAS and DAP. Are they just going to shelf the Islamic State idea and the Malaysian Malaysia idea aside? Wouldn't such rifts create problems down the line if they were to continue to work together. At this juncture, Nurul Izzah (on a side note, she's pretty good looking) pointed out how the act of actually getting the 3 opposition parties to avoid 3 corner fights during this GE was already a mean feat in itself. She pointed out how PKR had many a sleepness night during the PAS-UMNO talks. She however concluded that it was probably better to get stuff like this out of the way early in the relationship than later. Malik Imtiaz suggested that public bickering amongst PAS and DAP might even be a good thing, after all, we wouldn't like another BN where UMNO says something offensive and MCA and MIC is told to shut up and accept it. Tony Pua also added that it is unlikely that either party will shelf their core ideologies but as a matter of pragmatism and democratic evolution, they have agreed to concentrate on the common goals, rather than let their differences sweep them aside. It must be noted that leaders on both side probably have a tough job on their hands placating their hardcore grassroots supporters and to give them credit, they have so far done a pretty decent job of cooperation.

After a brief tea break, the session continued with Nurul Izzah downplaying the idea of protest votes and suggesting instead that to a certain extent, voters were now genuinely receptive of the opposition ideals (a notion that Rita Sim snorts at). She elaborated more about the demography of the urban Malay, their role in politics, the recent Permatang Pauh by-elections and the importance of young people seeking change amongst other things. Tony Pua further elaborated on the accidental rise of civil discourse and civil liberty movement in Malaysia which he credited to a large extent to the BN leadership's incompetency at being authoritarian. Failure to crack down hard enough on dissent led to expose after damaging expose which ultimately discredited BN to the point of no return, at least in the urban belt. There was also talk about the growing awareness among the Sultans of their role as future King-makers (the irony) and Sabah's frog and money politics. In particular, the frank political portrayal of money politics in Sabah and Sarawak highlights the difficulty the opposition will have even if they manage to woo them over, especially given their (the politicians from Sabah and Sarawak) increasing awarness of their political clout in deciding who gets to rule Malaysia. On a side note, Tony Pua is one hell of a sarcastic bastard and a dangerous man to let loose in a forum. Anyway, they probably said alot of other interesting things which I've now forgotten because I lacked the foresight of taking down notes. But the important thing is this: Malaysian politics is changing, and no one knows where we're heading.

Final (and IMO the best) speaker: Malik Imtiaz Shawar. The guy's a famous human rights lawyer, currently representing one Raja Petra Kamaruddin. He was threatened with death when he was legal observer for the Lina Joy case. Malik commented dryly that the other panelists had shunted all the unwanted topics unto his shoulder, mainly issues concerning the state of the judiciary and state of human rights. Anyway, his frank, almost brutal protrayal of Malaysia was scary. Picture this: mass media which were essentially propaganda machines. A compliant judiciary that pays no attention to principles of legal precedence. A police force akin to a private militia. And they fucked GE 08 up. UMNO is shocked, scared and most worrying of all, fighting for survival. More so in light of the horrifying allegations made against Najib. The PM-to-be will not just be fighting for a political career once he takes over the helm of UMNO. Rest assured, he knows that if the opposition ever come to power (and Malik Imtiaz and quite alot of Malaysians aren't exactly holding their breath), he could probably end up in jail if investigations turn up anything nasty. This is his last chance to wield and consolidate power, and the only way BN knows how to do it is to either make people like them or take away people who dislike them in the scariest manner possible. Shock and awe. He (Malik) then proceeded to cite the numerous examples from our colourful history of the government doing just that. Interestingly, we learn that a man (Abdul Malik Hussin) detained during the reformasi movement of 98' was awarded RM2.5 million in damages for torture suffered at the hands of the former IGP while under ISA detention. He then highlighted the very real danger that all those present among the panelists were likely to be detained anytime under the ISA, given the growing desperation of the ruling regime.

What does this mean for us? Simple. We cannot take things lying down. It is in our best interests to keep ourselves well-informed and educated so that we know what are our rights and how to protect them. When push comes to shove and crackdowns are imminent, we must resist. Change does not happen to people sitting in their armchairs. If we relent, the government will then be justified in employing their fear tactics and we risk sliding back to another 50 years of misrule. I'm not saying Pakatan Rakyat is great. I'm arguing that BN is so bad, we can't get any worse. Our country has probably reached the lowest ebb in terms of national development and it is up to us to make our stand here and now.

*********************************************************************************

Things you should do:

1. Be interested in what's going on, it's in your best interests.
2. Do not be afraid to speak up.
3. Support the people who speak up.
4. Get involved in public activism: participate in debates and discussions, blog or publish your views, anything, so long as you do something.
5. Register as a voter when you can.
6. Vote.

I apologise if my writing is rather incoherent, I'm just darn tired after a long day but I really want to write all this down before I forget. Oh, and here's something interesting which I learnt from Rita Sim. When Sin Chew reporter Tan Hoon Cheng was arrested under the ISA for publishing a racist remark by Ahmad Ismail, Dato' Seri Ong Ka Ting personally called Pak Lah and Najib and informed them that should she not be released, the groundswell of anger following her arrest would be likely to force him to sever MCA from BN. So now we know...

Check This Out

Made purely from scrap metal. As seen in a shopping mall in Berlin.

Recycle your waste. Think before you throw. ;)

A good read!!

A good post from non other than Tun Mahathir himself =p

click here.

Don't Forget...

http://uniting-diversity-contactlist.blogspot.com/

If your details are missing, please email them to either Sui Yuan or me, thanks! That way we can keep in track with each other's whereabouts and contact each other as desired.

I've sent out invites... if you didn't get invited, pls tell me, and I'll get onto it.

Take care, people. :)

I know its more than "kinda late" but oh well, better late than never

our CHS school song..from my phone's point of view

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLORENCE

BYE BYE TEENAGEHOOD!

Happy 3rd Birthday 5s1

... the reunion... was amazing. Even though I came late and left early.


I love the way we can just be ourselves and talk freely.

I love the way we still care after so many years.

I love the way we sang the school song.

I love the way we've grown and yet can still connect.


In my opinion la...
We can never be the 5s1 we once were,
but the 5s1 we are now is even cooler than before.

Take care.

And make sure you attend the next reunion. =)

Love you all. (This is not a mere gushy statement)

PAINBALL (sic)

Damn...i've got sores in places I didn't even know existed...anyways...pics are in my camera...I don't have a multiply site and uploading onto facebook is kinda painful with my broadband...especially since I should be getting ready to leave my home (nooooo.....)...ie I shouldn't be online 24/7 yadaaa... so yup...maybe when i go to sg i'll put them up somewhere? favebook, multiply? privacy issues anyone? (oh wait...this is the internet we're talking about...what privacy? haha)

P.S. Campfire was so so...but damn were the jokes good...hehe

Reunion: Map to Venue

THIS IS THE MAP:

http://www.map.com.my/map-search-detail.php?mapID=6326d4a73dcefcf4c0aac40331a53a97



AND THIS IS THE ADDRESS:

(pls check your emails for the address for privacy reasons... if you didn't get the emails, just call 016 248 0088 or 8076 7737)


FOR THOSE DRIVING CARS:

According to Tim's mom you have to park in Uptown opposite the house. Parking is free on Sunday. Parking around OCBC and Starbucks should be ok.

I told our dear host that we'll be invading his house from 7pm onwards. Just a reminder - the potbless is THIS Sunday. That's the 20th of July.



FOR THOSE WHO ARE GOING FOR PAINTBALL:

Have fun! And make sure you aim for Sui Yuan. Ask Xing Ji why if you don't know yet. Haha! Remember that we want him to come for the potbless in one piece, though.

Now, if you'll excuse me... I'll have to figure out a way to arrange for transport for myself! Anyone from Puchong willing to hitch me a ride? I'll tell you Prague stories in exchange! And I won't comment on your driving skills! And err... err... *desperate* I'll wash your car!

Take care, all. :-)


FOR THOSE WHO CAN'T MAKE IT TO BOTH EVENTS:

We'll miss you. *hugs*

I know this would be 6 hours in advance, but...

Happy Birthday, Sui Yuan! :-)